exhale

Movement and the big exhale.
Half painted red nails,
the smell of something more expensive than acetone,
and severe pain in groin,

just fucking let go.

And hush.

listen.

There is silence, it's maddening and oh so loud,
if you keep checking your email maybe the Messiah will come.

it has before,
and this time it said,

We want YOU.

Breath and light,
sun and sand,
but I won't go to places I'm not needed.

She said she would sleep in her car tonight, she had no place to go,

and all my joy bursts and crashes.

When one is not cared for, none can be.

Yet,
yet,
yet,
this is my day,
my celebration,
my hell yes, I really do deserve all the honor and respect.
The you can trust me, I know what I am doing!

The oh my goodness the one thing I wanted that I didn't even know I wanted, I got!

Now it's time for the leather jacket and cashmere onsie.

I live and breathe with desires,
and in this exhale,
I don't know where to go.

So stay,
play panda pop,
colors match and explode and this is all there is to life,
sometimes you run out of bubbles,

sometimes you get given the wrong color, and all you can do is aim and try.

And when it hits,
when the level is complete you say, I did it! I did it! I did it!
but then another challenge comes, and another, and another,

and,
wow,
it's tiring to keep waiting for something,

and then when it shows up you sometimes wonder why you waited.

And other times you just know it's so perfect that the yes has always been there and all you can do is keep breathing, laughing, and make a little mischief in your down time!