cravings

Metallic spikes and poetry about plums,
it's really simple,
and I know what I like.

Herbal smokes, elderflower marshmallows, cranberry shrub.

I took it literally, since I like to live in my new default,
and as wine-colored heels clinked the cobblestone and brick,
I felt it deep within.

That feeling I've craved.

And you?

I crave you too.

Night frights and the cars are all gone

The car keeps driving but nobody knows how.
I scream at you since you broke it and I don't even know your name.

Nightmares as I try to park, to question, to understand.

But the area is seedy and I just want to wake up.

In another bad dream I came out of my house to a firetruck in the driveway.

There was no fire.

There were two of you and you spoke no english.

You took gasoline and threw it on my car
Then you lit a match.

I lunged forward and stepped on the match right as it hit the ground.

You tried again but still I estinguished flame before everything of mine was gone.

Again you tried but this time mid-air I flung the match your way.

You all blew up in an instant in my driveway.

Thank G!d the firetruck was there.

And these were fright and moments in the night...
Wonderings of metaphors and why I am so scared.

so ripe and the now that is

Eyes open and they will never be the same again.

This is the restart button.

You said, "I'd sure like to go on an adventure"

and then the world collided,
and you saw everything as it was and wasn't,
atom-nal moments,

and the grandiousness of a fall.

You said, "I wonder what it is like to fall, I've never fallen before, and the thought of it is intriguing."

and then you slammed face into boulder,
blood,
guts,
and cavities,
and nobody understands invisible bruises.

Once your eyes open you will never be the same again.

I wonder,
and then I spit truths like I've lived ten thousand lives before,
and maybe I have,
and maybe I just want to believe in something greater.

"We will lift each other up, as you've lifted us goddess".
I sing this in the bath,
wildflowers filling up the tub and I surrender always.

"With an astounding love!"

We drank the pitcher full of sangria,
held hands and motions.

"I love you" almost oozed out all over you as I hugged you goodbye in the dark parking lot with my parents waiting in the car,
and it oozed all over my head and hands and heart, but I'm good at keeping messes to myself.

You said long ago that nothing could fill the void of your longing for impenetrable bliss,
and this is that code.

Nobody knows it until they've found it, and sometimes people find it without knowing their own code.

Desires and selfishness
and our world is almost engulfed in flames.

There is work to do,
and I am still sitting still in this room,
but it is brighter than ever before.

I don't cry here anymore,
I make my bed and the candles dance.

There is awakening and I've felt it,
alone in the crowd of millions,
sweat glimmering on my turtleneck as I jump up and down to the soul-jazz beat.

I do not look around,
I know I am flying,
and higher than everyone else.

and the heart is afloat - filled with the abundant and abounding love that YOU have for me, and so many wildflowers!

I jump for the future, I jump for my past, I jump for the very being that I am now and all the lessons and growth that will come my way. I jump for creativity and yearning, passion and love.

I jump because I know no other way to connect fully to source,
head swaying, hands having a rucous good time, and
me
whoever that is
soul
body
crazy hair
don't care

alive and glowing in this new now that tastes so good and ripe.