unexpected.

"Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others."
— Timothy Leary 


DO THE UNEXPECTED and miracles will pour forth, this I am sure of. 
When we open ourselves up the world becomes a little bit more perfect.

Inspired words.

Sometimes, all we need are reminders.
In this transition time, this is when we can remember these truths and live them, or just go on like every other day, pretending there is nothing in us that can change this world and our selves.
We have so much power, let these words fill our veins and rush with full force to the heart! Yes, change we will bring and it will taste so sweet!!

The light within

"My soul recognizes your soul, i honour the light, love, beauty, truth and kindness within you because it is also within me, in sharing these things there is no distance and and no difference between us, we are the same, we are one."

a happy list

The High Line-Image from their website

As the moments become fewer and fewer in the city I recount some of my favorite things from my time in New York:


The High Line but not a weekend when it is flooded with tourists
Chelsea Market & the obscure foods within
Pho 32 & Shabu in Korea town
Any bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Walks along the Hudson in the sunshine
The fact that work starts at 10am and that is normal
Almost everything is open 24/7
The hidden restaurant gems in the West Village like Palma
Artists & Fleas 
The West Side 
The A train and the 1 train
Romemu
Concerts at the Williamsburg Music Hall
The insane amount of delicious food
How in such a big city I have managed to run into heaps of people that I know unexpectedly
Attending Press Previews with top editors
Building community
Being the youngest of all my friends here and not letting that deter me from opening up
My proximity to Penn Station
Getting 3 internships and a part-time job in this economy!
Learning that I am able to live on my own
Stretching my self to my fullest 
&
Getting to taste one of my dreams!


xx

CL April Issue!

 

Our April Issue is now out and on Newsstands. If you want a copy let me know, I can get them for free (hehe). Yes, my name is in it! This is our Garden issue, so there are some fun articles. Enjoy!

A Rainbow of Emotions

The Met, Modern Section.

I'm trying to define the feelings that are bubbling up inside of me as I pack up my belongings, finish my internships and say my final goodbyes. It's really indescribable and I'm not sure even what to make of that vagueness. I guess I could describe it as a rainbow of emotions, since in truth, I'm feeling it all. Yes of course I am sad it is over, excited to move forward, nervous to go back, happy to see my friends again, anxious about classes, tentative about leaving contacts that I have made in the city, overjoyed at my own personal growth, regretful of certain things I didn't take advantage of, nostalgic of the moments that were truly remarkable, content at my fortune, blessed to have found new friends, worried we will lose touch, unsure of the career path that I want to take in the future and joyously knowing that if I decide to stay in this track that I have made some amazing contacts who believe in me and want to help me get far.


All this and so much more. The mind right now a jumble of these thoughts and feelings, each one passing in and out a different vibrant hue and now it seems they all have stuck in me, one big muddled mess but a colorful one at that.

but I do think it is time to return, it has been a wonderful preview, but that is just it, the preview needs to end so I can live the real deal right now and always!

Nomad.

I am like a nomad, always moving towards a better place. I settle in one place then force myself out of it before it all becomes too comfortable. And here I am again, packing up, leaving my life here in New York that I worked for 6 months to create. It's been established and I move on. Goodbyes never felt right to me but sometimes it is just best not to look back. On I go again, a new adventure, back to an old place I once thought I knew well. Life is never stationary, it is constantly orbiting to form new experiences and relationships. A wish to carve out a new home in my old place, a wish to continue on this journey towards growth and true happiness and to always know that no matter where I am, I am always home.
One week left New York. It's almost too surreal to say it happened.

The Mag is Back!

Lonny back and better than ever!

 Check out the March/April issue here.

comfort zone.

 There is no life until you run hard off the cliff into the deep end and think your about to sink when all of a sudden a new wave of energy gets breathed into you and you float to the surface once more. It's that scary moment when you don't know if anything will be ok, when really everything is perfect and there is no life until you go into the pits of yourself and release all bonds you hold over yourself.
'Life begins at the end of your comfort zone' and I am still trying to take that fall and plunge on down away from my self. I have one foot over the edge, my toes have been dangling for years it seems, always I've been holding on too tight, skin white, crusty and numb. 

I dreamed in double.

A Dream Within a Dream

          Take this kiss upon the brow!
          And, in parting from you now,
          Thus much let me avow-
          You are not wrong, who deem
          That my days have been a dream;
          Yet if hope has flown away
          In a night, or in a day,
          In a vision, or in none,
          Is it therefore the less gone?
          All that we see or seem
          Is but a dream within a dream.

          I stand amid the roar
          Of a surf-tormented shore,
          And I hold within my hand
          Grains of the golden sand-
          How few! yet how they creep
          Through my fingers to the deep,
          While I weep- while I weep!
          O God! can I not grasp
          Them with a tighter clasp?
          O God! can I not save
          One from the pitiless wave?
          Is all that we see or seem
          But a dream within a dream?

-Edgar Allan Poe 

I had a dream within a dream last night.

It confused me quite a bit and 

I don't know what to make of dreaming of something 

and then dreaming of that same thing coming true, 

while in that current dream

you recall your past dream of dreaming about that current dream as if 

it is actually happening

and then waking up and not knowing what is real.

What a mind bending experience! 

fly with me

"There is a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
  but I am too tough for him, 
  I say, stay there, 
  I'm not going to let anybody see you." -Bukowski

I am afraid there is a dear sweet bluebird inside of me too. 
And you?
She sings delight and joy but I suffocate her songs too many times. This tough shell is built for protection but it ruins more than helps and we never mean to do such harm, but in building up our walls, we destroy more than we know.

We perhaps kill that joyous bluebird inside us all with each time we utilize fear as a coping mechanism. A hardened shell is an easy escape, it keeps everything locked in, so nothing can get out and tainted. It tells us we really have nothing worth sharing, since if we did, it just wouldn't be good enough. It keeps my soul quite unjustly shallow in the pit of my body. 


All I need is to open my heart and let her soar, but my, that would just be too fearful, for who knows what could happen to her then?


I believe we all must let our inner birds fly, for how long can we keep them hidden? It is torture to us all and we have much more to pressing matters to attend to once we are set free.


Let us fly. 
You and I.

home is wherever i may roam

It's been 6 months since I've left London. I think I fell in love with it a little too late. As my time winds down in New York City, I realize just how far I've come in the 9 months since I've boarded the plane for London last June. I've grown, learned, been stretched, and yet I still find myself exactly where I started. It's a very surreal experience to be on your own and working when you know in reality you are still a college student with 2 fully packed years until graduation. It's a weird dream of sorts, and I'm not sure if I want to stay in it, or get out completely, or just find that fragile balance. I think my desire to travel and see more of the world is knocking on my heart, from deep inside, and it's making the idea of being settled in one place a distant notion. I have seen how much 3 months abroad changed me and I think I need much more time away from the USA to fully be content to say that this is home. Britain, it was grande. New York, our time to separate is coming near and the sad thing is, I just don't know when or if ever I will return to live here again. Have I lived it to my fullest? Perhaps not, but I've done the best I could for who I am currently, just as I did with my time in London, and I am content to say that I am a better person for these experiences but still quite open to all the change and growth that desperately needs to occur!


xx