nobody knows shit

"You are all there is
all there was" -

'within me infinity.'

but tell me what you want?

what do I want?

That is the issue.

I literally can't always tell you, but you massaged my leg and we are finally getting somewhere.

somewhere,

but where?

and then you say, you just don't know where you will be.

And I don't get sad,
since I knew this all along.

And I don't feel stressed since you make everything easeful.

And I still wish you could get up in the morning -

and that just comes with time and growth

and I'm wondering if I'm waiting or stalling,

or just living right now, right here,
because I still have so much to explore with you.

one year is marking fast,
and I don't recall us knowing much about this leg of the journey -
it comes with more weight,
more questions,
more digging.

And feelings get can hurt here in this year,
because a year is golden,
and the second is heavy but solid,
and the third is strength
and knowing.

and I don't want to over-analyze -
or pretend I know more than I do -
none of us know shit.

that I know.

So snuggle me tighter - and when I tell you I'm afraid to just let go because I don't want you to be bored, you say, let go, and then you don't know where to go - and you're lost and confused,
and the map is nowhere to be found since I threw it out since I didn't like the way it was going and I just decided you needed to know that

and then,
I cry.

and tears tell me I am angry
so I tell you that - and I cannot express anything else -
and you can't either -
but I still want you close -
since I'm not so mad,
and it's more at myself for not learning how to find the proper route
how would you know?

how would you know?

nobody knows shit anymore.

that I know.

and I do know it's easy - but maybe it's too easy - since difficult conversations don't come up much -

so where to go?

go inside.

inside your own infinity -
and in there lie all the answers and all the questions and all the spaces in between.