Buried Treasure

It's like hunting for buried treasure without the map.
We suppose we've found gold, but ramen noodles have kept many a man alive in deep suffering.

You hold my waist gently, I can feel the nerves and fear in your fingertips.
It's ironic that we met when we did, and I am thankful for the timing.

So a letter shows up at my door - and I start to shake.
Tears falling from my eyes so fast and I don't ever want connection with that fire again.

A thought popped in my head to tell you,
and then I think, no, I don't ever want to bring you into that internal mess -
it's PTSD for the moment, therapist confirmed, I say, I went to a Dr. yes, and I am so very healthy.

Truth and all the truths, it's just I don't need to share what isn't yours, and this time, I'm owning my mistakes, dealing with them, and moving on, with someone, and maybe you.

We talk of Pergatory, you've been before,
and so we adventure into the spaces between. I dreamed last night that you had two names and were using them as such, that second part of you so aligned with mine.
And then, I dreamed you were seeing someone else, it was casual, and so is this, but she was dumb, and blond, and we decided you were not who we thought you were.

My heart is so afraid to trust, so it makes up stories,
and maybe some are true,
we never know,
since when we ask, sometimes all that spills out are lies,

Yet you say you cannot lie.
I like the way this sounds.

And you met my family - It wasn't supposed to happen this way, but you didn't want to leave and our eyes kept gazing over meeting at the same times.

I suppose that's all it is really, eyes meeting and locking for a moment or eternity.
We can pretend it's something more, but fly up a few hundred feet in elevation and we realize, it's a blip of time, so surrender and be in constant gratitude for the one who brings us to this day, moving through the internal stuck places and flowing freely into the expansion.

And this is the day.
Sunny and ready to be awakened.